Next week I turn 30 which is crazy because most of the time I still think I’m 24. For some reason, I’ve thought and reflected about this upcoming birthday more than any other (with the possible exception of my 16th. Hello drivers license!)
30 is one of those milestone birthdays that many people (especially girls) dread. I honestly don’t dread it, as my grandma says turning 30 “sure beats the alternative!” But I have always thought of 30 as adult.Like a real adult. Don’t laugh. I know that I’m a married mom of two and that I should consider myself an adult at this point but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the I’ve-got-this-all-figured-out adult.
Back when I was 17 and just graduating high school, I was certain there would be a point (surely by the age of 30!) that I would be an adult and have everything figured out. You know, I would somehow have managed the discover how to maintain a spotless house, cook amazing meals every day,and keep up with all the errands.I would have a beautiful flower garden and maybe even grow some veggies or herbs. I just knew I would have 3 or 4 perfectly behaved, Jesus lovin’, funny, well-rounded and absolutely adorable children. We would craft, and sing and read and they would NEVER bicker or throw temper tantrums. I would always be wonderful,even-tempered, attentive, supporting and loving wife. I would have a deep and consistently growing relationship with the Lord. I would be active in my church. And of course I would do all of this while managing to be a size four in an adorable dress and the perfect shoes.
So, here I am a week away from 30 and certainly don’t have it all figured out. So many of my dreams have come true. Some haven’t yet. I haven’t figured out how to perfectly balance my wonderful husband, 2 kids, housework, exercise, errands, and time with the Lord. But I’ve learned to give myself grace when I fail to meet what I think I have to get done, as long as I’m focusing on my priorities.
I certainly don’t have everything figured out. But I’m ok with that too. I’ve learned that seasons seem to change at the blink of an eye. It’s so quick that it sends my head swirling in a million directions but in the middle of my chaos stands One who is steady and faithful. One who is never taken off guard or surprised. One who does have it all figured out — I love that I don’t have to have it all figured out because I know who to run to with my cares and concerns, my dreams and desires — and there is so much peace in that.
This summer I am a part of an amazing small group. It is hands down my favorite summer small group ever. It is filled with mostly single girls – there are a couple of other married girls & one engaged. Oh, how I love Monday nights. Once you move out of that season, you forget what it’s like to be so excited about a first date, the anxious feelings before you get married, or the deep longing to have your 1st baby. Our tendency is to want to rush through whatever season we are in right now instead of sitting back and savoring the moment. I love watching these girls enjoy their seasons.
I remember being single and praying to be in a relationship. Then praying for a spouse. After getting married praying for kids. My twenties have been amazing. I’ve gone through several different seasons but I’ve savored few of them.
I wonder sometimes what blessings we miss in our current season, because we are so focus on what’s next.
So, I may not have it all figured out. In fact, I probably had more “figured out” at 17 than I do now but I will enjoy where I am now. I’m married to an amazing man and blessed with two crazy, Jesus lovin’ babies. I am blessed indeed.