All summer long, I have genuinely been excited about Lane starting Kindergarten and even more excited about Bethany starting pre-school. Lane had THE BEST preschool experience last year. I know beyond all doubt that he is ready for kindergarten and I was honestly probably a little too excited about 12 WHOLE HOURS a week kid-free. I was starting to feel a little like a heartless mom what with all my planning and dreaming of reading a book without interruption, or cleaning a house and it actually staying clean for more than 15 minutes. Maybe I could even make a phone call without someone tapping on my leg or go to the bathroom with out someone squeezing their little fingers under the door to say hi! Just as I thought, this sending kids off to school for a couple hours a week will be nice – that’s when I noticed it.
See at some point during the past two weeks ago, I realized summer was almost over. I needed to start getting organized, buy backpacks and lunch boxes, sign Lane up for soccer, decide if Bethany would do gymnastics this year, iron the first 2 weeks worth of school clothes, get the house cleaned, figure out what I need for school lunches, decide if Lane would ride the bus or be a car rider….Is your head spinning? Mine was. At some point when I was frantically scrubbing baseboards, because you know you can’t start school without sparkling baseboards, I realized that I had jumped on to the crazy train.
Then, the next day I went to Lane’s school and got this precious little letter on cutesy little paper.
I was standing there listening to one of my sweet teacher friends tell me what a great teacher Lane had. I was smiling and nodding but my stomach was dropping lower and lower. I realized how real this whole kindergarten thing is. Blah. Then the roller coaster started. My best friend and I talk daily. Her daughter is starting big school this year too.
One day we are encouraging each other and reminding each other that they are ready. The next day we are telling stories about our babies when they actually were babies (though they will always be our babies). Yep this is my crazy.
I never realized until this week how hard it is to let go even if it is just the tinies bit. I am daily reminding myself that as a parent my goal is for my kids to move from being 100% dependent upon me to being 100% dependent upon the Lord. and in order for that transition to take place I have to let go some, As I let go some, my faith and trust in the Lord grows because I’m trusting the Lord’s protection over one of my most prized possessions.
and yes I do know its just Kindergarten and I’m not sending him off to war. Go back to the title. This is the crazy train I’ve been on the past week. Stopping between knowing kindergarten is a good thing and stopping the crazy station where I just want to keep him home with me forever and ever.
Change is good. and our new season starts in exactly 4 days ready or not.